And he saw that the Chocolate was thick and tempered. And it was good.

The typical response to the stimulation of Chocolate behind Glass

If you are a certified Choco-vore, then there is not a more tempting, more alluring, more versatile, more capricious foodstuff than Chocolate. I sure don’t know one. Nothing else in my arsenal of ingredients can come close to it’s emotional effects.

I work in a Chocolate Factory at a well known International Flight Hub. As visitors cross the threshold into our shop, they slow down. First they sniff the air, some like cute little bunnies… others taking great lung buckets full. Often, their eyes glaze over. It is then that I know they’ve left the maddening hustle behind, and have found themselves wandering in their own private Wonka-World.

But how much do you REALLY know about Chocolate… comes from the South right? Full of antioxidants if you eat the dark stuff? Linked to love? Hmmmm? Has some kind of chemical that releases endorphins (“feel good” chemicals) in your Brain?

Pretty good so far. Mostly true… but what kind of BakerMan would I be if I didn’t help you clarify… and thereby appreciate more deeply the many truths behind Chocolate?

For The Chocoholics among us, this may serve as an enjoyable review (depending on your level of choco-holism) For the rest of you, grab a handful of chocolate chips and lets get started… cause this is a journey.

A History Lesson:

In order to understand why Chocolate stands out above all the others (caramels, toffees, jujubees, etc.), It is helpful to have a brief understanding of it’s Origins.

Looks like he may have been a popular guy, or a freak. Click him for REAL HISTORY

First up… The Mayans! These Meso-American cuties were building crazy pyramids and planning the Age of Aquarius, WAY back in the day. KaKaw <Myan> was a tree that they used to make a bitter spicy drink that they believed to be sent by their god, Quetzalcoatl (who, according to Mayan Entertainment Weekly, was due for a much prophesied return). When Cortez (our villain) arrived on a sunny beach, The Mayans could swear he was Quetzalcoatl in the Flesh! They welcomed him and revered him as their god. Cortez dug the popular vote, and pillaged the joint bringing about the demise of the Ancient Mayan Culture. (of course, this is all myth… or is it?)

Hey Buddy... Nice Cacao!

Years and Years pass… and we come upon another ancient civilization, the Aztecs. These guys were Hot! Sophisticated. They lived not too far north from where the new Cortez Resort and Spa had been built… in what later became Mexico. They had also derived a drink and called it “Xocolatl”. But these cats had things to buy! The huge Capital city of Tenochtitlan awaited, with it’s malls and Brazilian Steak Houses. The cacao (say kah-COW) beans were not only the most awesome sought after spicy foamy cocktail, they were currency! When Columbus got there, they used their “money” in trade… and old Chris helped further Chocolate’s global dominance. (or Did He?)

It only grows around the equator, but these days appears on several continents. Today we call the plant Theobroma Cacao, which translates from ancient Greek as “food of the gods”. Needs lots of rain and plenty of shade. Florida is too far north, I already asked.

The fruit of the Cacao tree is an ovoid pod containing a pithy pith, and the cacao beans. The pods are broken open and the beans and pith are fermented for 5-7 days, then spread over drying mats and left in the sun.

Click my Pod to go to the Cacao Farm!

The pith and beans are separated, and the beans are sent to the umpteen zillion processing plants around the world. Some of the raw Cacao beans are crushed to form “nibs”. These are then sent to companies for the million and 1 uses that you see today.

It is notable that there are 3 kinds or types of Cacao: Forastero is the most common, accounting for nearly 90% of the market. Criollo is the most rare, and sought by the worlds most reknowned Chocolate Houses. The last, Trinitario is a combination of the other 2. This is partly why you have such differing price points (among other things) from the local candy store to the Fanciest “Shop”.

The Nutrition Part:

Organic Raw Cacao Nibs!

Raw Cacao is on the list of Top 10 Superfoods. Along with such others as Spirolina, Spinach, and Soy it ranks as one of the most nutrient dense foods that you can consume. (I get mine at whole foods)

The Raw Cacao scores a whopping 95,000 on the ORAC (Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity). By comparison, Blueberries get 2,400. That’s a LOT of antioxidant power.

Cacao nibs contain many times the RDA of essential trace elements like: magnesium, sulphur, calcium, iron, zinc, copper, potassium, and manganese as well as several of the B Vitamins. (BTW: “essential” signifies that not only are these elements necessary for the most basic life functions, the body alone can not produce them. They MUST be replenished DAILY from sources outside the body <food> for complete nutrition and full chemical and electrical activity to occur. Just sayin’)

The Bioflavanoids in Cacao reduce inflamation. They maintain blood pressure. They prevent fat from oxidizing and clogging arteries, and make platelets less likely to clump there by reducing the cause of blood clotting, heart attack or stroke!

But wait! Remember how we said it was associated with love?! Hang on… there is TOTALLY more:

"Tiguuhh, Kiss Kiss!"

Cacao has a good dose of Tryptophan. An amino acid that produces seratonin. Google me this: Cashews vs. Prozac… Seratonin makes us feel good, and combats feelings of depression. Cacao is loaded.

Cacao contains the neurotransmitters dopamine, and phenylethylamine (PEA), and contains anandamide and MAO Inhibitors – which make it good for the heart and Great for the Brain!

phenylethylamine (PEA) promotes mental alertness… and in some cases can prevent the onset of dementia!

And finally, Theobromine. Theobromine is a cousin of caffeine. It’s a vaso-dialator… so it opens your veins and keeps the blood moving, but is much less of a neuro-stimulant than it’s java relation.

If you don’t believe me, check this easy-to-read-for-the-non-scientist article. They did Real Research!

Oh yeah, and dogs are Deathly Allergic to Theobromine. Don’t give your dog too much… but probably enough to build up a tolerance. (no seriously… chocolate can make your dog sick as hell… even die.)

Sorry Fido

You should know that many of the aforementioned benefits and phytochemicals are destroyed and rendered useless by the processes applied to the Cacao to make it into Chocolate. Happily some compounds do survive… but I wouldn’t call a crunch bar healthy.

What’s it taste like? Tastes a little bit like Real Mocha… if Mocha were a real life nut. Crunchy. A little bitter. Nutty. Coffee Bean-ish with a faint, faint flavor of dark chocolate.

Sheesh! You need a break yet? I do! Let us reload our Chips… and then we’ll press on…

The Process Part:

The Cacao Fun Slide! Heat 'em Up Boys!

The nibs and select beans are often mixed together from differing regions. The Chocolate Houses blend these beans and nibs to each their own “secret recipe”. Then they Roast ‘em. Giant tumblers are used to bring out the deep flavors of the cacao. At this point we change the name and call it Cocoa.

After Roasting, Great presses squeeze the bejesus out of the cocoa. This separates the Cocoa Butter and the Chocolate Liquor.

CLARIFICATION ALERT

COCOA BUTTER:

We are all vaguely familiar with Cocoa Butter. It is in all manner of sunscreen, make up, moisturizers and food stuffs. It is Pure Fat… but not nasty french fry fat. This is Mono-Unsaturated. It is hard (or what we in the kitchen refer to as “plastic”) at room temperature. It’s melting point is, ironically 98.6°F <accounting for that ridiculously thick melty mouth feel> Cocoa Butter is quite literally the best moisturizer you can find. It is also QUITE edible and has a very light flavor of Chocolate.

Rub it on what ails ya, then take a bite!

Case History: I went to school in Scottsdale Arizona. Within 3 days of arriving, my skin was so dry (having nearly sprouted gills in the humidity of Florida), that my knuckles and elbows cracked open and blood was spilled. Several interweb searches sent me to the health food store for pure 100% Cocoa Butter. By the 2^nd day, my skin had returned to that of a new born babe. No Lie. Cocoa Butter is amazing stuff (and practically grease-less)

CHOCOLATE LIQUOR:

Not at ALL what it sounds like. This consists of all the solids that are not cocoa butter. It is pressed into dry cakes for shipment, storage, and usage. It has a room temperature shelf life of over 10 (ten) years. You will be hard pressed to find a piece of Chocolate that has “gone bad”. <see the bit about milk and white chocolate. They go bad, eventually> Chocolate Liquor is ground and sometimes treated with an Alkali to appear on the shelf as Cocoa Powder (sometimes Dutch Processed). This is what they refer to when they talk about the dark chocolate’s percentage…. 53%… 64%…. 72% (really super dark!). This is the amount of Chocolate Liquor present in any type of chocolate. And for the organic compounds that have survived <mostly mind control substances>, this is where they’ll be. Chocolate Liquor is Fat Free.

A Choncing we will go....

From here the chocolate liquor is sent to a Chonching Facility. Immense rollers press and press on the chocolate liquor until it is smmmmooooooooth. SO smooth.

And then,  the chocolate liquor and the cocoa butter come together again. More Science, Flavor Profiles, and Mouth Feel are applied for the perfect bar.

Milk, Dark, and White Chocolate ready for Use

Thank Henri!

For Milk Chocolate, Dairy products and sugar are added. Mmmmmm… Creamy. The presence of dairy reduces the shelf life of Milk Chocolate. But only considerably… thank Henri. Henri Nestle partnered with Daniel Peter, a Swiss candle maker who had been experimenting with a new product; Milk Chocolate. Together they discovered how to remove the moisture from the milk creating the first solid bar in history in the 1800′s.

Cinderella's lesser known White Chocolate Slipper

For White Chocolate, No chocolate liquor is used. Instead, dairy and sugar with other flavors and emulsifiers are mixed with at least 20% Cocoa Butter by weight. Since the FDA use the butter and the liquor to make the decision of whether a product can be labeled “Chocolate”, White is In!

There are many classifications of chocolate product. The regulations differ in every country. Read all about semi-sweet, bitter-sweet and ever so much more over yonder on wiki wiki wooooo.

The Tempering Part:

A Chocolate box filled with Truffles... the ultimate "I Love You"

Chocolate, with all it’s creamy goodness is still a crystalline molecular structure. The 2 types of crystals are labeled A and B, and they melt at different temperatures… but not very far apart at all.

Click the Pic to read an exhaustive article on Tempering at Choclolate Alchemy

The term “Tempering” or “Tempered Chocolate” refers to the heating and cooling of the chocolate to precise temperatures. This allows all of the crystals to melt and then re-align in a network for the final product. By achieving a proper temper, the chocolate will be shiny, will set in minutes without refrigeration, and will have that iconic “snap” when broken. When you bust open your favorite bar and it snaps at your bite, That’s Tempered Chocolate.

Conversely, you may have gotten a bar… or a bag of chips that looks dusty, or old. <remember the 10 yr shelf life>. What you see is the cocoa butter which has floated to the surface. When chocolate gets too warm, it “looses temper”, the crystals that melt at the lower temp have done so and released the butter from the network. The chocolate is said to have “bloomed”.

can you tell the difference? Click it for a great tip!

Chocolate Bloom has NO affect on quality or taste of the product. Go back and read that again please.

However, un-tempered chocolate will not act the same way as tempered. Ever melted some chips and dipped a berry? Had to finally put it in the refrigerator right? Remember that cocoa butter is “plastic” at room temperature. So the fridge works. BUT- the berries melted quickly at your touch… and maybe even became messy. Tempered Chocolate is far more shelf stable. You needn’t ask a chocolatier this question: “excuse me, is this tempered?” you will sound like a bone head. It is.

Tempering Chocolate in the home is possible, but a little precise. Which is why people rely on ready made choco-flavored melt and dip … uh…. crap. Again, tempering is not difficult but it does take practice.

And I mentioned Capricious. Oy. Chocolate is like a Diva on opening night, on steroids. The temperature has to be JUST RIGHT, and there better not be the slightest moisture near her. At All. One single drop of water from a finger tip can render 5 #’s of chocolate (or more) completely useless. Remember, water and oil don’t mix. <chocolate in other uses, when blended with other ingredients can never temper. Proceed with your recipe or formula as printed when using chocolate>

These look Tremendous! Click 'em!

And now, with tempered chocolate… you can enjoy some of the most astounding confections the World has ever known. Cacao sent by gods, manipulated by the scientific hand of man creates what may be the most requested flavor in the pastry kitchen.

Eat the Dark stuff, they say it’s better for ya

Back in the Day! Syrup in a can... in addition to Jams and Jellies, Sunny Jim had a full line of snack foods and p-nut butter. The Best!

Remember Mondays when you were a kid in elementary school? Dreaded.

But sometimes, you had a permission slip to go on a Field Trip. I got to go to a lot of cool places on field trips… but my Favorite was probably the Sunny Jim Jam and Jelly Factory in Seattle… well, until today. ( say it fast to hear the commercial aloud: “ Sunny Jim Sunny Jim Sunny Jim Jam And Jelliiiiies” sheesh that has to be 40 years ago!? Catchy.)

Today I got the full-interactive-hands on-fish out of water-Regis and Kelly treatment at the Print Shop!

As you may have heard, we are pumping up the VOLUME (yay-AHHHHH) on our website. We have lots and lots of ideas… and one of those is t-shirts! John, (of www.klingsart.com) partnered with Graphic Marketing in winter park to get us some press time!

John is a screen printer by trade, and so was up last night making films.

I am ecstatic as I write! By tomorrow evening we will have a handful of samples to show about and wear brazenly… taunting on lookers.

But how about that Shop!? I don’t know if you know how all that visual imagery plastered all over every flat surface on Earth gets there. It comes from places like Graphic Marketing! To me, it looked like a big room chock full of opportunity for dismemberment. Not small machines to run off a few dozen news letters, kids. Big hulking Giants of machines with lots of grabby, pokey out spots, and large and small dangerous looking buttons. The kinds of things that you wonder, How did they get THAT up here? Thankfully, there were also plenty of “stupid people please stay to the center of the room” placards and stickers for my safety and amusement… yeah, like I’m gonna get my tie caught in THERE!

Scott poses with a monster

Today we put it all to work. An exceptionally successful dress rehearsal. John and V.J. were the professionals on the job. I was the on site reporter, lunch getter and (I really think it’s the technical term for the job) catcher bitch.

I’ve worked on small jobs with John before, but those have always been in our garage or living room. This was Much bigger… like the difference between a 20 gallon fish tank, and the adventures of Jacques Cousteau! (bloop bloop bloop… “Ve approach ze narwal vith the utmost of caution…”)

Here’s a quick primer, in case you’ve never been privy to the creation of a rock star t-shirt.

The image is transferred to an acetate film. So that it can be transferred again to a screen for printing.

The screen is coated with a photo sensitive emulsion, and left to dry in the dark.

The Artist known as John coats a screen with photo sensitive emulsion... note the BakerMadness Signature shade of green!

The emulsion is hardened by Ultra Violet Light. Wherever the acetate image is placed, the emulsion is not exposed, so stays soft.

Science Quiz: What is the most common and popular origin of Ultra Violet (UV) Light? Correct, the Sun. But taking your screens out into the sun isn’t really practical. Instead, you need one of these… I call it “Sun in a box”.

they got a tiny peice of the Sun and they put it in this box, to make art and to blind bad guys.

A UV producing arcing light source is contained inside a black metal box. A heavy blast shield is lowered to Unleash the High Energy Beams toward the screen, and any super villian type bad guys. After 30 seconds in the same room with the blast shield down, I have a tan that is 1.5x deeper than when I arrived.

Sun in a box is released with full fury!

Hosin' it Out!

The acetate film is removed and the soft part of the image is hosed out, leaving a place for the ink to pass through. An elaborate expensive stencil. Pin holes and edges are covered with “block out”.

Checking for pin holes

As we were on a first time out test run, we hadn’t done an inventory on our color choices. Our logo is Chocolate brown. There was no brown ink, so john made it… for the test, we ended with the most scrumptious looking chocolate brown…

John Makes Brown

Each color in a screen printed image gets it’s OWN SCREEN. We have 6 colors in our logo. This is where the tricky part shows up. All the screens have to be aligned EXACTLY for the colors to come together in a single image. It’s called “registration” and when it’s off… it’s no good.

The Test. Sprinkles out of registration

We tore through about 20 Goodwill donation tester shirts to arrive at the final image. <not pictured>

Back at the Sunny Jim Jam and Jelly factory… we all got a sampler size jar of strawberry jam to take home, which I forbid my mother from opening.

Today I got an even bigger takeaway.

Many Thanks to Graphic Marketing… V.J. , Ken and Bram! Your work is terrific!

And also many thanks to John Kling at www.klingsart.com your work is Beyond Terrific (and you make a wicked mean salsa)

So as you can see, we aren’t just talking anymore…

Yay-AHHHHHHHHH!

Blog Blogging Bloggery. The book in the Library says its dead. My browser tells me something a little different.

Of Course there are about 300 million jillion blogs. How the bodega am I gonna stand up and Stand Out? ( i’ll think of a way… or i’ll vanish without a trace.)

Welcome to BloggerMadness!

Now let me set this up straight from the beginning.

I love baking. I love pastry… I love sugar and cream and big beautiful buns! I adore an army of bon bons lined up in a row, shiny as jewels…

but I like other stuff too.

This blog will serve as an update spot for BakerMadness… and of course there is always the open discussions that occur. I hope we’ll talk about cookies and eggs and pie in a mason jar… and your favorite pudding and cake recipes, but c’mon!

BakerMadness is a HUGE outlet for me and my friends, but it’s not all that we’re about.

My posts at this blog will be random and sporadic. I will post new update alerts at Facebook. You will click click click and be treated to a running dialog from inside my mind. Sometimes all about pastry and baking. Often about some pretty random stupid stuff. (cause thats my favorite stuff)

As you read into my mind you should also know this fact: There is ALWAYS a wide chorus of dancing couples waiting just in the wings of my consciousness. The imaginary orchestra sits in a make believe pit with horns at the ready and bows drawn. I only bring this up so that if they should spring to life… you’ll be able to follow along

Chances are that you’ve arrived from a link at facebook, probably from the bakermadness wall. Thats Good! Then it’s just potentially a couple hundred of us. Why is that good? Well… we’re not quite ready yet.

Oh I know I know… I can hear you in your own mind… “riiiiighhhhht… you’ve been freeking talking about it for 2 years… show me.” Look, it takes a minute or two to understand the dynamics of these things.

I don’t want to talk about where we’ve been… or bore you with more “concept” and coming soon propaganda. I want to talk about where we are right now. So lets Pull Back the Curtain shall we?

>> in the future you will click a link here that will play music for effect. I don’t know how to do that today, so instead… if you would sing aloud, that would be GREAT! I’m going with the old Johnny Carson theme. an upbeat late night type tune. Jazzy… starts like this… “Bah dah ba duh Dahhh… Ba do ba doo ba dooBAH<<<

This Month (July 2010) We purchased a new Site. We have hired a Webmaster. We’ve produced a commercial. We’ve written and are scheduling the shoot for our Trouble With Tuffles episode Due sometime in August.

We have sent much content to the Webmaster. And I, The Bakerman am continuing to produce more.

My file folders are filling up with hilarious, ridiculous photos and references. Some of which I have been warned by my director not to divulge under any circumstance… so of course, those are the only ones I can think about.

John is on Art Direction and we go to print with Sample T-Shirts on Monday (7/19)

OUR SITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

if by some CRAZY slip of the mouse you end up at the BakerMadness home page… you should take a canteen, cause you’re getting lost. The pics are examples. Most pages lead to a version of “under construction”. Really at this point very little of the page is as it will be.

I didn’t bring you here to send you there.

HERE is where I’d like to share our experience. I (scott the bakerman) am on a big old fat journey. I am a sponge to ideas and best practices. I am anxious to share along the way. I am starting the blog now so that I can jump through my dorky learning curve right off the bat… it will help later.

Thanks…

and Bake on Bakers!

Until then, here’s the latest episode of Baker Madness!